HOUSE_OVERSIGHT_019103.jpg

woman is impregnated by a rapist, "it is something that God intended to
happen," he jumped the sperm whale.

No professional comedian had the imagination to come up with
such tragicomic satirical concepts as those. The funniest thing is that
neither Akin nor Mourdock was trying to be funny. They were simply being
their ignorant selves, a pair of religious fanatics who worship a
micromanaging deity that made them legitimate assholes in the first place.
The good news is that they both were defeated on Election Day. The
Republican presidential campaign was crystallized by "Keep the
government out of my Medicare," and the Democratic presidential
campaign was crystallized by "Keep the government out of my vagina."

While Mitt Romney believes that life begins at conception, Rick
Santorum believes that life begins at foreplay. He has gone way beyond
his frenzied position against women' s right to abortion. He' s also
against birth control, even though that would prevent the need for an
abortion. He claims that "contraception is not okay" and that it turns sex
into "simply pleasure." He has also vowed to "ban all pornography,"
even though watching porn would prevent the need for contraception.

And so it came to pass that Barack Obama was re-elected. His
opponent, Romney, fell to his knees and pleaded, "Oh, dear Lord, you

HOUSE_OVERSIGHT_019103