HOUSE_OVERSIGHT_015198.jpg
1.3 MB
Extraction Summary
3
People
5
Organizations
2
Locations
4
Events
2
Relationships
4
Quotes
Document Information
Type:
Investigative evidence / manuscript or speech draft
File Size:
1.3 MB
Summary
This document appears to be a page from a manuscript, memoir, or speech draft written by a comedian. The text recounts various 'opening lines' the narrator has used at specific events, including the World Hemp Expo, a Skeptics Conference (referencing James Randi and Kreskin), and a Los Angeles County Bar Association luncheon. The narrative concludes with the author in a hotel suite preparing to receive the 'Lifestyles Freedom Award.' The document bears a House Oversight Committee Bates stamp.
People (3)
| Name | Role | Context |
|---|---|---|
| Narrator | Author/Speaker |
A performer/comedian writing in the first person about previous performances and an upcoming award.
|
| Amazing Randi | Subject |
James Randi; mentioned as attending a Skeptics Conference; narrator notes 'Amazing' is on his birth certificate.
|
| Amazing Kreskin | Subject |
Mentalist; mentioned as attending a Skeptics Conference; narrator jokes his real name is 'Obnoxious Kreskin'.
|
Organizations (5)
| Name | Type | Context |
|---|---|---|
| World Hemp Expo |
Venue of a past performance by the narrator.
|
|
| Skeptics Conference |
Venue of a past performance attended by Randi and Kreskin.
|
|
| Los Angeles County Bar Association |
Organization hosting a conference where the narrator performed at a luncheon.
|
|
| Lifestyles |
Organization presenting the 'Lifestyles Freedom Award' to the narrator.
|
|
| House Oversight Committee |
Government body associated with the document production stamp (HOUSE_OVERSIGHT).
|
Timeline (4 events)
Unknown (Past)
Locations (2)
| Location | Context |
|---|---|
|
Location of the Bar Association conference.
|
|
|
Current location of the narrator, described as 'lavish' with bathroom mirrors.
|
Relationships (2)
Narrator performed at a conference attended by Randi.
Narrator performed at a conference attended by Kreskin and made jokes about him.
Key Quotes (4)
"My opening line at the World Hemp Expo was, 'Last night, for the first time in my life, I used a hemp condom.'"Source
HOUSE_OVERSIGHT_015198.jpg
Quote #1
"the Amazing Kreskin changed his name for showbiz--his real name is the Obnoxious Kreskin."Source
HOUSE_OVERSIGHT_015198.jpg
Quote #2
"I' d like to begin with a moment of silence, so that you can think about your client' s problem, and then you can make this a billable hour."Source
HOUSE_OVERSIGHT_015198.jpg
Quote #3
"I will be presented with the Lifestyles Freedom Award."Source
HOUSE_OVERSIGHT_015198.jpg
Quote #4
Full Extracted Text
Complete text extracted from the document (1,360 characters)
comedians do have something in common. We both like to have a good
opening line. As a performer, I always try to slant my opening line toward a
particular audience.
opening line. As a performer, I always try to slant my opening line toward a
particular audience.
My opening line at the World Hemp Expo was, "Last night, for the
first time in my life, I used a hemp condom." My opening line at a
Skeptics Conference, attended by the Amazing Randi and the Amazing
Kreskin, was: "The is the first conference I' ve been to where there were
two people with the same first name of Amazing—but the Amazing Randi
was born with that name, it' s on his birth certificate, whereas the
Amazing Kreskin changed his name for showbiz--his real name is the
Obnoxious Kreskin." And my opening line at a luncheon during the Los
Angeles County Bar Association conference was, "I' d like to begin with a
moment of silence, so that you can think about your client' s problem,
and then you can make this a billable hour."
first time in my life, I used a hemp condom." My opening line at a
Skeptics Conference, attended by the Amazing Randi and the Amazing
Kreskin, was: "The is the first conference I' ve been to where there were
two people with the same first name of Amazing—but the Amazing Randi
was born with that name, it' s on his birth certificate, whereas the
Amazing Kreskin changed his name for showbiz--his real name is the
Obnoxious Kreskin." And my opening line at a luncheon during the Los
Angeles County Bar Association conference was, "I' d like to begin with a
moment of silence, so that you can think about your client' s problem,
and then you can make this a billable hour."
Now I find myself in a lavish hotel suite, trying to crystallize an
opening line while contemplating the bald spot on the back of my head,
infinitely cloned in the mirrors of the hotel-room bathroom, actually the
only place I ever get to see that bald spot as others do. This will be a
serious opening line, since I have been told that, in the introduction to my
performance, I will be presented with the Lifestyles Freedom Award. I
opening line while contemplating the bald spot on the back of my head,
infinitely cloned in the mirrors of the hotel-room bathroom, actually the
only place I ever get to see that bald spot as others do. This will be a
serious opening line, since I have been told that, in the introduction to my
performance, I will be presented with the Lifestyles Freedom Award. I
HOUSE_OVERSIGHT_015198
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