HOUSE_OVERSIGHT_015198.jpg

1.3 MB

Extraction Summary

3
People
5
Organizations
2
Locations
4
Events
2
Relationships
4
Quotes

Document Information

Type: Investigative evidence / manuscript or speech draft
File Size: 1.3 MB
Summary

This document appears to be a page from a manuscript, memoir, or speech draft written by a comedian. The text recounts various 'opening lines' the narrator has used at specific events, including the World Hemp Expo, a Skeptics Conference (referencing James Randi and Kreskin), and a Los Angeles County Bar Association luncheon. The narrative concludes with the author in a hotel suite preparing to receive the 'Lifestyles Freedom Award.' The document bears a House Oversight Committee Bates stamp.

People (3)

Name Role Context
Narrator Author/Speaker
A performer/comedian writing in the first person about previous performances and an upcoming award.
Amazing Randi Subject
James Randi; mentioned as attending a Skeptics Conference; narrator notes 'Amazing' is on his birth certificate.
Amazing Kreskin Subject
Mentalist; mentioned as attending a Skeptics Conference; narrator jokes his real name is 'Obnoxious Kreskin'.

Organizations (5)

Name Type Context
World Hemp Expo
Venue of a past performance by the narrator.
Skeptics Conference
Venue of a past performance attended by Randi and Kreskin.
Los Angeles County Bar Association
Organization hosting a conference where the narrator performed at a luncheon.
Lifestyles
Organization presenting the 'Lifestyles Freedom Award' to the narrator.
House Oversight Committee
Government body associated with the document production stamp (HOUSE_OVERSIGHT).

Timeline (4 events)

Unknown (Future relative to text)
Performance and acceptance of Lifestyles Freedom Award
Lavish hotel suite (preparation location)
Unknown (Past)
Performance at World Hemp Expo
World Hemp Expo
Unknown (Past)
Performance at Skeptics Conference
Skeptics Conference
Unknown (Past)
Luncheon performance
Los Angeles County Bar Association conference

Locations (2)

Location Context
Location of the Bar Association conference.
Current location of the narrator, described as 'lavish' with bathroom mirrors.

Relationships (2)

Narrator Professional/Acquaintance Amazing Randi
Narrator performed at a conference attended by Randi.
Narrator Professional/Acquaintance Amazing Kreskin
Narrator performed at a conference attended by Kreskin and made jokes about him.

Key Quotes (4)

"My opening line at the World Hemp Expo was, 'Last night, for the first time in my life, I used a hemp condom.'"
Source
HOUSE_OVERSIGHT_015198.jpg
Quote #1
"the Amazing Kreskin changed his name for showbiz--his real name is the Obnoxious Kreskin."
Source
HOUSE_OVERSIGHT_015198.jpg
Quote #2
"I' d like to begin with a moment of silence, so that you can think about your client' s problem, and then you can make this a billable hour."
Source
HOUSE_OVERSIGHT_015198.jpg
Quote #3
"I will be presented with the Lifestyles Freedom Award."
Source
HOUSE_OVERSIGHT_015198.jpg
Quote #4

Full Extracted Text

Complete text extracted from the document (1,360 characters)

comedians do have something in common. We both like to have a good
opening line. As a performer, I always try to slant my opening line toward a
particular audience.
My opening line at the World Hemp Expo was, "Last night, for the
first time in my life, I used a hemp condom." My opening line at a
Skeptics Conference, attended by the Amazing Randi and the Amazing
Kreskin, was: "The is the first conference I' ve been to where there were
two people with the same first name of Amazing—but the Amazing Randi
was born with that name, it' s on his birth certificate, whereas the
Amazing Kreskin changed his name for showbiz--his real name is the
Obnoxious Kreskin." And my opening line at a luncheon during the Los
Angeles County Bar Association conference was, "I' d like to begin with a
moment of silence, so that you can think about your client' s problem,
and then you can make this a billable hour."
Now I find myself in a lavish hotel suite, trying to crystallize an
opening line while contemplating the bald spot on the back of my head,
infinitely cloned in the mirrors of the hotel-room bathroom, actually the
only place I ever get to see that bald spot as others do. This will be a
serious opening line, since I have been told that, in the introduction to my
performance, I will be presented with the Lifestyles Freedom Award. I
HOUSE_OVERSIGHT_015198

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